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Is The Internet Hurting Children?

By Chelsea Clinton and James P. Steyer, Special to CNN

updated 10:04 AM EDT, Mon May 21, 2012

Editor's note: Chelsea Clinton is a board member of Common Sense Media, a nonprofit advocacy organization focused on media and technology's effects on children and teens, and wrote the foreword to "Talking Back to Facebook." James P. Steyer is founder and CEO of Common Sense Media and the author of "Talking Back to Facebook."

(CNN) -- Amid the buzz over the Facebook IPO, the ever-evolving theories about how Twitter is reshaping our communications and speculation about where the next social media-enabled protest or revolution will occur, there is an important question we've largely ignored. What are the real effects of all this on the huge segment of the population most affected by social media themselves: our children and our teens?

The explosive growth of social media, smartphones and digital devices is transforming our kids' lives, in school and at home. Research tells us that even the youngest of our children are migrating online, using tablets and smartphones, downloading apps. Consumer Reports reported last year that more than 7.5 million American kids under the age of 13 have joined Facebook, which technically requires users to be 13 years old to open an account. No one has any idea of what all of this media and technology use will mean for our kids as they grow up.

By the time they're 2 years old, more than 90% of all American children have an online history. At 5, more than 50% regularly interact with a computer or tablet device, and by 7 or 8, many kids regularly play video games. Teenagers text an average of 3,400 times a month. The fact is, by middle school, our kids today are spending more time with media than with their parents or teachers, and the challenges are vast: from the millions of young people who regret by high school what they've already posted about themselves online to the widely documented rise in cyberbullying to the hypersexualization of female characters in video games.

These challenges also include traditional media and the phenomenon of "ratings creep" in the movies that our kids consume. Movies today -- even G-rated ones -- contain significantly more sex and violence, on average, than movies with the same rating 10 or 20 years ago.

The impact of heavy media and technology use on kids' social, emotional and cognitive development is only beginning to be studied, and the emergent results are serious. While the research is still in its early stages, it suggests that the Internet may actually be changing how our brains work. Too much hypertext and multimedia content has been linked in some kids to limited attention span, lower comprehension, poor focus, greater risk for depression and diminished long-term memory.

Our new world of digital immersion and multitasking has affected virtually everything from our thought processes and work habits to our capacity for linear thinking and how we feel about ourselves, our friends and even strangers. And it has all happened virtually overnight.

It goes without saying that digital media have also altered our fundamental notions of and respect for privacy. Young people now routinely post and share private, personal information and opinions on social media platforms without fully considering the potential consequences.

The immediacy of social media platforms, coupled with vulnerable youngsters who are socially inexperienced and not fully developed emotionally, can create a combustible mix. Kids often self-reveal before they reflect, and millions of kids say and do things they later regret. The permanence of what anyone posts online and the absence of an "eraser" button mean that the embarrassment and potential damage can last forever.

We urgently need a public conversation in our country among key stakeholders: parents, educators, technology innovators, policymakers and young people themselves. The dialogue must focus on the ways social media and technology enable our kids to give up their privacy before they fully understand what privacy is and why it's important to all of us. We should also discuss how social media can help empower kids to find their voice, find their purpose and potentially create the next technology revolution.

All adults know that the teen years are a critical time for identity exploration and experimentation. Yet this important developmental phase can be dramatically twisted when that identity experimentation, however personal and private, appears permanently on one's digital record for all to see.

In the 1990s, as a reaction to an explosion of television programming of increasingly questionable quality for kids, Congress passed the Children's Television Act. There was universal recognition that given all the time kids were spending in front of the television, the nation had a collective responsibility to offer positive, educational programming with limited commercials. We are at, arguably, an even more important crossroads when it comes to digital media and technology.

Howard Gardner, a professor and researcher at the Harvard Graduate School of Education who developed the concept of multiple intelligences, calls kids' use of digital media and technology "epochal change." He compares the revolution in digital media to the invention of the printing press because of its extraordinary impact on the way we communicate, share information and interact with one another. As a society, we have no choice but to engage with this new reality and work to ensure that it affects our kids in healthy, responsible ways.

The promise of digital media to transform our lives in positive ways is enormous. If managed well, technology can improve our schools and education, deepen social connectedness, expand civic engagement and even help advance our democracy. But for these positive outcomes to occur, we as a society must confront the challenges endemic in our 24/7 digital world.

We need legislation, educational efforts and norms that reflect 21st-century realities to maximize the opportunities and minimize the risks for our kids. Only then will we be able to give them the safe, healthy childhood and adolescence they deserve.

Source: http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/21/opinion/clinton-steyer-internet-kids/index.html?hpt=hp_bn7

White Neighborhood Watch Captian Kills Black Teenager

Students want watch leader who shot Trayvon Martin arrested

ORLANDO, Florida (AP) — The case of a white neighborhood watch captain who shot an unarmed black teen last month has prompted student protests in Florida on Monday, and is garnering national attention as civil rights leaders, politicians and even the White Houseweigh in.

But authorities may be hamstrung by a state law that allows people to defend themselves with deadly force.

• BLOG: Report: Shooter in racially charged death often called cops

Students held rallies on the campus of Florida A&M University in Tallahassee and outside the courthouse in nearby Sanford, where prosecutors are reviewing the case to determine if charges should be filed. The students demanded the arrest of 28-year-old George Zimmerman, who authorities say shot 17-year-old Trayvon Martin last month during a confrontation in a nearby gated community.

Gun control advocates say it is emblematic of permissive gun laws in Florida, which was among the first states to allow residents to carry concealed weapons.

Florida was the first state to pass a "Stand Your Ground" law, which has been dubbed a "Shoot First" law by gun control advocates. About half of all U.S. states have similar laws, said Brian Malte, legislative director of the Brady Campaign, which describes itself as the nation's largest organization dedicated to the prevention of gun violence.

The Florida shooting happened when Zimmerman spotted Martin as he was patrolling his neighborhood on a rainy evening last month and called police to report a suspicious person. Against the advice of the dispatcher, Zimmerman then followed Martin, who was walking home from a convenience store with a bag of Skittles in his pocket.

Zimmerman's father has said his son is Hispanic and is not racist. Zimmerman has claimed self-defense.

"I don't think a man who exited his vehicle after the 911 dispatcher told him to stay inside the car can claim self-defense," Carl McPhail, a 28-year-old Barry University law school student, said at the rally in Sanford.

The 70 protesters at the Sanford rally chanted "What if it was your son?" and held posters saying, "This is not a race issue." Many carried Skittles.

Martin's parents and other advocates have said the shooter would have been arrested had he been black.

"You would think that Sanford is still in the 1800s claiming that this man can call self-defense for shooting an unarmed boy," said restaurant owner Linda Tillman, who also was at the Sanford rally.

Florida congresswoman Corrine Brown has asked that the U.S. Department of Justice to review the case, and White House spokesman Jay Carney said Monday during a briefing that officials there were aware of what happened.

"Our thoughts and prayers go out to Trayvon Martin's family," Carney said. "But obviously we're not going to wade into a local law enforcement matter."

But prosecutors may not be able to charge Zimmerman because of changes made to state law in 2005. Under the old law, people could use deadly force in self-defense only if they had tried to run away or otherwise avoid the danger. The changes removed that duty to retreat and gave Floridians, as the law is written, the right "to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force," if they felt threatened. The changes also meant people could not be prosecuted in such instances.

Prosecutors can have a hard time making a case if there is no one else around to contradict a person who claims self-defense, said David Hill, a criminal defense attorney in Orlando. Thus far, Sanford police have said there is no evidence to contradict Zimmerman's claims.

"If there is nobody around and you pull a gun, you just say, 'Hey, I reasonably believed I was under imminent attack. Hey, sorry. Too bad. But you can't prosecute me,'" Hill said.

Pt. 3 Perceptions of Beauty: Fat is the New Ugly on the Playground

Editor's note: This is the third part of a six-week Friday series on the perceptions of beauty. Last week we looked at the counter campaigns against society's beauty ideal. Next week we take a look at men who are struggling with body issues.

(CNN) -- Marah Rhoades remembers when her daughter, Emilia Cooper, started to worry about weight. She was 5.

That's when boys at her Brooklyn school started calling her fat. Emilia, now 9, has always been taller and more broadly built than most of the other kids in her class, and she quickly learned her body type made her a target for teasing.

"At that point she became very aware of weight," says Rhoades. "She started coming home and telling her 3-year-old brother, 'If you eat that you're going to get fat.'"

"We all exercise a lot, and it's definitely just her body type," says Rhoades. "We started having a dialogue about it, but it's hard for her to understand that there are different bodies."

Fat is the new ugly on the school playground. Children as young as 3 worry about being fat. Four- and 5-year-olds know "skinny" is good and "fat" is bad. Children in elementary school are calling each other fat as a put-down.

As our country becomes more obsessed with increasingly skinny ideals of beauty at the same time that we're getting more obese, "Fat hatred has become so pervasive that it is part of the fabric of our language and interactions," says Dr. Robyn Silverman, author of "Good Girls Don't Get Fat: How Weight Obsession is Messing Up Our Girls and How We Can Help Them Thrive Despite It." "Fat and thin are no longer simply assessments of size or weight, but rather of character. So you can imagine why adoption of these attitudes, diet talk and disordered behavior is happening earlier as well."

Worrying about weight starts early

Children pick up on stated and unstated messages from their parents and media starting from the time they can open their eyes, quickly learning what the ideal person for their gender looks like. When parents are more concerned with weight, the children are more likely to have the same concerns. But the larger culture of movies, television, Halloween costumes and mass market T-shirts tells young people at a very early age that fat is bad and thin is good. It doesn't even matter if your children don't watch television, adore Disney movies or adore Barbies.

"It's such a strong cultural idea that children are going to start picking up on it immediately, just like gender and what it is to be properly feminine," says Dickinson College professor Amy Farrell, author of "Fat Shame: Stigma and the Fat Body in American Culture." "It's not just TV, it's the entire culture. Fat children are treated differently than slimmer children from the time they're very young. We hear concern from parents about their babies being fat. We think someone is less intelligent if they are fat."

Readers recall their own childhood experiences

The "fat is bad" language can start in preschool, where children don't know what "fat" means but they know it's not good. "We hear that girls of all different weights worry about being fat because it's such a lethal hot button for other girls to use," says Silverman. "They associate it with being blameworthy, ugly, lazy, unpopular and all the polar opposites of being happy, well liked, popular and good. It may have nothing to do with how they look."

It doesn't matter if you don't watch any television and send your children to schools that don't allow children to wear any mass market commercialized T-shirts or bring brand-name toys to share. Western culture's obsession with weight goes deeper than anything a parent can consciously do to limit its influence, according to Peggy Orenstein, author of "Cinderella Ate My Daughter." She limits her daughter's exposure to mass media but still heard her talking about weight at age 6, spelling the word "fat" in a whisper.

In television, movies and toys, the messages are usually pretty clear: The thin characters are usually good and smart and the fat characters are stupid or evil. Magazines and billboards emphasize the idea that skinny is the goal. "Fat people are portrayed as evil or stupid," says Orenstein. "It doesn't take much exposure for kids to understand that message."

What's the impact?

Emilia Cooper is an ice skater but won't lift her arms during her routines because she thinks her arms are too fat. Her mother worries she's not thinking about more interesting and healthy topics: having fun while skating, learning new routines, her homework or having fun with her friends.

People who diet a lot -- and therefore regularly spend a lot of attention and self-control on what they eat -- often don't have enough focus for math problems or other exercises, says Jennifer Thomas, a psychology professor at Harvard Medical School and assistant director of the Massachusetts General Hospital Eating Disorders Clinical and Research Program.

It's also true that growing children and teens need to eat healthy, well-balanced meals to grow into healthy adults. In people who severely limit their food intake for prolonged periods, brain scan studies show their brains shrink, says Thomas.

Talk with them, not at them

Aylin Ellenburg, a Miami mother of 17-year-old triplets, tackled the topic of body image and body disorders with her daughters in a group setting. She helped create a book club with mothers and daughters from her children's middle school. When they read a novel about a popular teen with an eating disorder, the girls got to share their concerns and hear their mothers' struggles without feeling like it was a lecture.

"We did it at that early age so they would understand the consequences of being overly concerned about weight and understand that someone could look 'perfect' and be hurting inside," says Ellenburg, who has two girls and one boy. "The girls really talked about it and us moms got to put in our two cents. The girls enjoyed being at the same level as the adults."

Stop talking about food in moral terms

Parents whose weight is normal but who talk about how they need to diet or lose weight around the children all the time can have a negative influence on their children, whether it's Mom talking about dieting because she's gained a couple of pounds or "being bad today" by having a piece of cake. "Children pick up on the idea that their parents think [the parents] need to lose weight and get in their heads that they [the children] need to do the same," says Debbie Rhea, an eating disorders specialist and kinesiology professor at Texas Christian University.

To that end, author Orenstein realized she was sending a signal by not ordering an ice cream cone when her husband and daughter each had one. "I'm going to have to get an ice cream cone so she knows it's OK that I do," says Orenstein.

Remind your children of your values

If you truly believe in treating people respectfully and celebrating diversity, the buck stops with you. Don't just talk to your children about your values. Talk about them with other people when your children are listening, live them in the way you treat others and include yourself on the list of people who shouldn't be criticized for your body type. Don't accept anyone, even the in-laws, criticizing you or your children for body shape or size.

"Teach your children that everyone deserves to be treated well, no matter size, shape, skin color or how expensive their shoes are!" says Farrell, "We come in a diversity of shapes and sizes. Enjoy your body, enjoy physical movement, eat tasty and good-for-you food and celebrate the fact that you are alive."

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How do We teach our children that Violence does not Solve Problems?

11-year-old girl Joanna Ramos dies after fight with fifth grader over a boy 

She was rushed to the hospital after complaining of a headache

By Meena Hart Duerson / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

A fight over a boy may have turned fatal for an 11-year-old California girl, who died after an altercation with a classmate on Friday.

Fifth grader Joanna Ramos was rushed to the hospital where she died of unknown causes hours after fighting with another girl in an alley next to their elementary school.

"They were fighting just for a boy," Ramos' friend Stephanie Soltero told KABC. "It's just stupid."

Seven other students from the elementary school flocked to the alley to watch the fight, which police said was planned in advance. The confrontation lasted roughly a minute and Ramos didn't have any visible injuries, according to police.

"We believe nobody was knocked to the ground," Deputy Chief Robert Luna said, according to the Los Angeles Times.

After the fight, Ramos went back to her after school program where she complained she wasn't feeling well and was taken home.

Her family brought her to the hospital just before 6 p.m., where police said she arrived unconscious and not breathing. She was rushed to surgery, but died just before 9 p.m.

"My sister-in-law rushed her to the ER, and two hours later she's gone. It's just sad. Very sad," her aunt Celina Cervantes told KTLA.

Luna told the Los Angeles Times the cause of her death remains "undetermined."

"There are still many questions, many questions that cannot be answered,” he said.

KABC reported Ramos had an ongoing issue with the other girl, and that they had also fought on Thursday and again on Friday over the same issue.

The other student in the fight has been identified and interviewed by police, according to KTLA. No arrests have been made.

"It is hard to understand how this could ever happen," Long Beach Mayor Bob Foster said at a press conference Saturday. "All of us are anxious to get answers from the investigation in hopes that they will help us make some sense of this heartbreak."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/11-year-old-girl-joanna-ramos-dies-fight-grader-a-boy-article-1.1028760#ixzz1njzMKbtJ

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Ways Parents Can Teach Children To Care About Others

posted by elev8.com

In a world where violence and cruelty seem to be common and almost acceptable, many parents wonder what they can do to help their children to become kinder and gentler—to develop a sense of caring and compassion for others. Raising kids who care isn’t a solution to violence by itself, but it’s reasonable to worry that being exposed to a lot of violence—whether it’s on television or on the streets —could make your children hard and uncaring. People sometimes think that children don’t really see the outside world—or other people—the way adults do, that they only view the world from their own eyes and in their own way.

The most important thing you as a parent can do is to let your children know how much it means to you that they behave with kindness and responsibility. When you see your child doing something that you think is thoughtless or cruel, you should let them know right away that you don’t want them doing that. Speak to your child firmly and honestly, and keep your focus on the act, not on the child personally—something along the lines of ‘What you did is not very nice’ rather than ‘YOU are not very nice.’

Be frank, honest and upfront with your kids about what kind of behavior you do and don’t like. Keep your comments short and to the point; the idea is to teach them, not to make them feel guilty. In other words, our actions speak louder than words. If you are consistently caring and compassionate, it’s more likely that your children will be, too. Children watch their parents, and other adults, for clues on how to behave.

How to Prevent Child Molestation: A Guide for the Concerned Parent

  

There's outrage from parents over how a man accused of molesting a student was allowed to get easy access to children.


Charles Shelly, 44 is accused of sexually assaulting a 13-year old girl.


Police say in December, Charles Shelly touched the girl while she was in his car watching a movie at Herring Run Park. Investigators say Shelly claimed to be a school mentor to get close to children.


City schools say he is not affiliated with any public education programs. But parents say he was an all too familiar face at the school.

Tuesday, February 14 2012, 23:05 PM EST

A guide for the concerned parent.

by David Mandel, David Pelcovitz, Ph.D and Dr. Susan Schulman

Child molestation is a disease. The child molester is a sick person with an illness that he is unable to control or stop on his own. He has a preoccupation and a sexual desire for young children. In order to stop, he needs help through treatment, supervision or incarceration.

In our collective experience working with this population in the Jewish community, approximately one-third of pedophiles have a preference for boys, one-third prefer girls, and one-third have no preference. Some pedophiles also have distinct preferences within select age groups. And one predator may abuse dozens or hundreds of children.

What can we -- as parents, educators and a community -- do to protect and respond to sexual abuse?

Children are sexually victimized because they canbe

Children are sexually victimized because they can be. They are trusting, vulnerable, curious by nature, and usually not suspicious of adults -- certainly not of a parent, teacher, counselor or other role model. This can be true of adolescents as well, who can fall prey to sexual abuse even into their mid teens.

Children can be victimized repeatedly because they are often too ashamed or frightened to divulge information to others. They are frightened because the molester has threatened to hurt them or their family members, or frightened that their parents will not believe them or will blame them.

While reliable statistics regarding the prevalence of this problem in the Jewish community are not available, there are a number of protective factors that should lead to a lower incidence. These include our community's strong emphasis on family closeness, and community support programs that provide assistance for stressed-out parents.

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Unfortunately, however, there are powerful risk factors as well. Research studies have found that those most likely to recognize and report abuse are policemen or emergency room doctors, while those least likely to recognize and report abuse are people who come from the same community or religious background as the abused child. It is therefore not surprising that when abuse is suspected among our own, the first response might be denial or a tendency to ignore a reality that is so antithetical to our standards and way of life.

This vicious cycle, unfortunately, can inadvertently embolden child molesters.

Body and Brain

In the last decade, a number of adolescents and young married people have self-identified and sought treatment for their serious problems with gambling, drugs and alcohol. It is fair to say that as serious as these problems are, they no longer carry the social stigma and social isolation they did just a short few years ago.

Not so with sexual abuse -- not to the victim or to the perpetrator.

He (95 percent are male) will almost never voluntarily seek treatment. The fears of retribution, social isolation, physical harm, loss of family, loss of work, along with his sexual proclivities, prevent him from disclosing.

Similarly, victims of sexual abuse, unlike other victims, almost never self-disclose. Abusers gain the child's loyalty and confidence, and then convince the child that any "bad feelings" are "all your fault."

A crime victim may report to the police. A victim of domestic violence may seek out a relative, a rabbi, or a mental health professional. A drug user or alcohol binger can often be recognized by a spouse or employer. Not so with a victim of sexual abuse who is embarrassed, who represses, and who, years later, continues to carry the scars of the unresolved trauma of the abuse.

Child molestation is an invasion of the body and brain. The harm is staggering, reaching into nearly all areas of the child's life:

• Ability to trust others: Children abused by a trusted adult may have difficulty allowing themselves to get close to members of the extended family or adults they come in contact with. Young children may become more clingy and older children may develop a hostile or mistrustful attitude in relating to others.

• Impaired self-concept: Abused children may develop a sense of permanent damage, which may include feelings of shame, self-blame, and a general sense that they are unworthy of love. Some react by gravitating to peer groups dominated by rejected or rebellious children, since they view themselves as not deserving to be in the mainstream.

• Difficulty controlling emotions: Increased irritability or difficulty calming down after becoming upset is frequently seen in these children. Younger children may manifest regressed behaviors such as an increase in whining, tantrums or bed-wetting. Older children may become less compliant or more withdrawn. Feelings of sadness, emptiness and hopelessness may be accompanied by physical complaints such as frequent headaches or stomach aches.

• Academic difficulties: A number of studies have documented higher rates of academic difficulties in abused children. Impaired concentration and motivation are among the contributors to school difficulties.

• Religious crisis: We have found that some children may experience a crisis in faith after their victimization. For adolescents, in particular, it may be very difficult to reconcile religious beliefs with actions by supposedly "religious" adults who act in a hypocritical manner.

Oftentimes a child will keep the abuse a secret for 10 or 20 years. Only when the child becomes an adult does he have the confidence to share his story. In the meantime, he bears a heavy burden.

Beyond all this, many abused children grow up to become abusers themselves.

Prevention

What can be done?

Children must be taught about it honestly.

Children must be taught about it honestly. They must be prepared to fend off and respond to sexual advances, nuanced and overt, from persons they know and often trust. Parents need to know that it is not enough to teach children only about being wary of strangers. Sex-abuse prevention techniques have been developed that frame the issue in the context of overall safety, no different than fire safety or water safety, helping children to develop wariness without fear.

The most important thing to do to protect your child is to make sure that he or she will always come to tell the parent immediately if something unusual happens. Every child must know that his parents want him to talk to them. Opening the lines of communication must start very early.

Dr. Susan Schulman, a Jewish pediatrician in Brooklyn, recommends that parents discuss with their children in an age-appropriate fashion:

• The area that is covered by your bathing suit is your private area. Sometimes when you are little your teacher may help you in the bathroom. That is okay. Other than that, you are not allowed to touch someone else and no one is allowed to touch you in the area covered by your bathing suit. You are not allowed to show anyone and no one is allowed to show you. If anyone does this you can say: "No! My mommy doesn't let me!" Go away from that person and tell your mommy what happened.
• If someone is touching you, hurting you, or making you feel bad, tell me about and I will stop it.
• Your mommy and daddy love you. We will always love you. Nothing you will do will ever take that love away from you. We want to hear about things that happen in school -- all the good things and even the bad things that happen.
• If you have done a bad thing, we may not like what you did, but we will always love you.
• If anyone hurts or scares you, you should come and tell mommy or daddy. They might tell you that something terrible will happen if you tell your mommy, but you must still tell us. We are grownups and we will protect you. I will give you the biggest hug if you tell me about it.

Older children and teenagers need the same reassurance. Tell the child that you are there for him/her, and that you always want to hear about their experiences – good and bad. Tell your child you will always love him.

The larger the family, the more important it is that you give a few minutes a day of eye contact and keep the channel of communication open. Ask, "How was your day?" Even if he doesn't say much, this communicates that you are interested and available when the need arises.

This line of talk should be gently reinforced periodically with the child. There are many milestones where these conversations can occur naturally, e.g. entering preschool, a new school, send off every year to camp, a weekend getaway.

Since the majority of children are molested by people they know – relative, neighbor, sports coach, teacher, bus driver -- you need to discuss trust in older people and role models. This one person did something bad. Place an emphasis on all the other people who are good, loving and kind.

Speak to your children about exercising care not to be caught in a situation alone. Young people should walk in groups, particularly at night.

It is human nature to shy away from discussing sexual issues with our children when they're young adults, let alone when they may be 10 or 15 years old. Yet this is what we need to discuss.

Detection

There are various warning signs and red flags to look for in your child who may have been victimized.

Dr. Schulman lists five behavior changes that may indicate the child is being subjected to abuse:

1. The child may seem unusually interested in the private areas of the other people's bodies.
2. The child may draw pictures of hidden body parts.
3. The child may show signs of stress such as sleep problems, appetite changes, behavior changes, tantrums, restart bed-wetting, fears and irritability.
4. The child may become unusually afraid or unusually attached to an adult in his life.
5. The child might give verbal hints or even describe the abuse to the parent.

If your child exhibits a serious problem that appears to be new, you can consider sexual abuse a possible factor without getting alarmed or overreacting. In seeking out professional help for treatment, go to a mental health professional and ask about his or her specialized training in this area.

Recovery

Research regarding the role of religious beliefs in helping victims deal with the impact of abuse repeatedly finds that religion can play a crucial protective role in helping victims find meaning and support, even in the face of cynicism and betrayal. On the other hand, many religious individuals who are victimized by a member of their community experience the additional trauma of feeling abandoned by a religion that they were taught stands against abuse. It is therefore not surprising that a percentage of alienated and rebellious adolescents who "drop out" of active religious observance have a history of being molested.

Identification and treatment can be highly successful as children and adolescents have remarkable resilience. The majority of victims, with proper support, can emerge from the experience strong and healthy.

If we believe that our child is a victim of, molestation and talking is the very first step, what should you talk about? You should emphasize the following to your son or daughter:

• We, your mother and father, love you.
• You did absolutely nothing wrong.
• Your body is yours, let's discuss how to protect it in the future, no one can touch your body in any way without your permission.
• Your body is good, it's not dirty. Someone else who is not good did something that he wasn't supposed to.
• He was wrong for doing this.
• You were not in the wrong because this happened.

And what about the perpetrator? Pedophiles need to be pushed to seek professional treatment, pushed out of circumstances where they can be in regular contact with children, pushed into supervised and controlled environments, or pushed into the criminal justice system.

Pedophilia is a treatable disease. While it is not curable, long-term treatment can be administered over several years, and if the perpetrator is compliant, this can allow him to return to a relatively normal life. Certainly his family should not be punished, as unfortunately often happens.

In Conclusion

A communal resolve by parents to prepare,
By educators to teach,
By school administrators not to tolerate,
By informing law enforcement and child protective authorities as required,
By each group in our community doing their share,
Can lead to a reduction in the number of children who will be hurt,
An increased vigilance against offenders, and
A supportive environment for victims to disclose and be supported.

Should School Ban Sweets at Christmas Party?

Westford Students Told To Leave The Christmas Cookies At Home

December 15, 2011 4:58 PM

WESTFORD (CBS) – Westford school officials are getting tough on classroom holiday parties.

They’re banning sugary snacks and sweetened beverages from the celebrations this year.

Students are being told to leave the Christmas cookies, cakes, candy bars, and soda at home and to bring fruits, unsweetened juices, popcorn and raisins instead.

Superintendent Everett Olsen says the ban on holiday sweets has nothing to do with being politically correct, rather, his motive is simply promoting a healthy lifestyle.

“We aren’t trying to take the Christmas out of Christmas. We’re not trying to take the enjoyment out of children’s lives. We’re just trying to act responsible,” he told WBZ NewsRadio 1030’s Mike Macklin.

The school’s goal is to avoid the types of sweets that pile on empty calories and contribute to childhood obesity.

WBZ NewsRadio 1030′s Mike Macklin reports

School officials say they’re also hoping to protect the growing number of children with severe food allergies.

The new policy comes as schools across Massachusetts get set to implement stricter state-mandated food policies aimed at reducing child obesity.