Experts say Emotional Affairs Are More Damaging than Physical Affairs
By BCNN1 on June 13, 2011 5:47 PM
Trisha and Justin Davis had what on the surface appeared to be a "perfect" marriage.
U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) speaks to the media in New York, June 6, 2011. Representative Weiner admitted on Monday to sending a lewd photo of himself to a 21-year-old female college student over his Twitter account after previously denying he had done so.
Justin was the senior pastor at a growing church in Indiana and they had three small children. As a pastor's wife, Trisha fulfilled all the typical duties at church and at home. Both worked 80-plus hours a week in their respective roles.
While everything appeared to be ideal on the surface, the couple began experiencing problems within their marriage. Communication decreased and the emotional attachment present in the early years of marriage began to fade. Although their church was growing, their marriage and relationship with God began to deteriorate.
It was during this vulnerable time that Justin began an affair with a fellow staff member, who also happened to be Trisha's best friend.
"Anytime someone has an affair it's a symptom of deeper issues that have not been addressed," said Justin Davis, now an associate pastor at Cross Point Church in Nashville.
Justin and his wife Trisha were fortunate in that they were able to save their marriage after a period of separation and intensive Christian counseling. "Before you can be honest with anyone else, you've got to be honest with yourself," Davis said.
They openly tell their story through speaking engagements and on their website, http://refineus.org.
“When you give a part of yourself, either physically or emotionally, to someone other than your spouse, you admit there is a part of you that God has not fulfilled. You always have to disconnect yourself emotionally so you can justify your actions,” said Davis.
"People who have affairs are wounded and hurting themselves."
Twitter, Facebook Affairs
Social Media tools such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and others make communicating easier and provide a level of privacy not available in times past. Moreover, they have opened the door to more virtual relationships – and though they may not be physical in nature, they’re just as damaging, if not more, as evidenced in Rep. Anthony Weiner’s recent Twitter scandal.
Weiner, who has been married less than a year, sent a photo of himself in his underwear to a woman in Seattle via Twitter. After days of being hounded by the media about it, the New York congressman finally confessed on Monday that it was indeed him who tweeted the photo. Weiner also revealed that he had been in contact with six women he met on Facebook.
He added that he never had physical relations with any of them.
Unfortunately, such scandals of high profile people are nothing new.
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